It’s never easy to lose a friend, and even harder to lose a loved one. Losing someone you care about is literally having a piece of your life removed from you. Maybe even a part of your everyday activities might be lost now. It goes without saying that it is not something that can simply be dealt with quickly and be done with. It is something that is going to take the time to get over. What many people don’t understand is that this is not just okay, it’s also perfectly natural. It is okay to mourn and be upset after someone passes on. We have to handle it the right way, and that means accepting a few different things. These are not just things about ourselves, but also about others affected by the tragedy. If you are looking for help with the coping process, or are trying to help another, remember these few tips.
Everyone Deals with it Differently: We are a planet with 7 billion people and yet no two people are the same. This is true here as well. You might break down while another simply frowns. This doesn’t mean they are affected by the death of a friend or loved one. It could simply be how the choose to present themselves to the world. Some people take to art to deal with events like this, some take to friends and others take to distractions like books and media. Don’t be upset because someone else is dealing with it differently. They are still missing the person the way you are.
When you are Ready, Open Up: Things don’t do well in cages. Anything that stays caged up will eventually want to break free, and our emotions are no different. When we hold our emotions in for too long they can become destructive, yet it takes time for us to feel comfortable opening up to someone about something. When you are ready to talk to someone about how you are feeling or about how you miss someone, open up and let it out. It doesn’t have to be today, wait until you are ready. Just don’t wait forever, or the emotions will find a way to get out rather you are ready or not.
It’s Okay To Be Vulnerable: When tragedy strikes, it is typically for us to want to be strong for others. To put on that smile and act like everything is going to be okay. Of course, it will all be okay in time, but you need to convince people of that now. While you are being the strong person, letting people cry on your shoulder, remember it is also strong to be the one crying on someone’s shoulder. You are not made of stone, it’s okay to be that person that is there for others, while also depending on others.
Distraction Vs Addiction: We said earlier that someone people like to distract themselves with things like books and media, or by doing art. Some people will turn to other things to distract themselves, such as alcohol, tobacco, illegal substances, or caffeine. Be careful when you are doing this, you have to remember that a distraction is healthy, an addiction will continue to affect you long after this is done, and will harm your health. Yes that does include drinking coffee. Some coffee to wake up isn’t a problem, it’s when you drink it excessively that it can start to take it’s toll. People who smoked before may turn into chainsmokers, people who finish one cig just to light up another. People who drink socially might do it daily, or turn from light drinks like beer to harder liquor. It is important to control yourself, or to help others keep their own habits under control.
Do Something You Enjoy: Continuing on that idea, doing something you like such as art can really have a positive effect on you. It can help clear the mind a bit, get away from the stress and help bring that smile to the surface. Some people use art not just as a way to stay positive, but also to remember the one they lost. They do paintings, drawings, poems, etc about the person, immortalizing them in their own way. If you don’t do any of these things, maybe it’s time to start. Pick up a brush and start painting, pick up some ingredients and make something you’ve never tried tonight, or just grab your smartphone and get creative with the camera. Remember, art needs a purpose, not a talent. Even if you don’t become a master painter, just the process of painting will make you feel better.
Give Yourself Time: Everyone is different, and everyone heals at their own pace. Some carry scars longer than others and that’s okay. You are going to heal in your own time. Don’t think you have to be 100% in a week like nothing ever happened. Take it step by step, day by day. Give yourself the time you need to heal. You can still go to work, see friends, make that art we talked about while still healing from the death of a friend or loved on. It doesn’t have to be an exclusive process, it can be done while you are still living your life.
We are all human, and we all have our ways of doing things. Don’t feel left out because you do something differently than others. Don’t panic because you think you are taking too much time recovering from losing someone. You are human, just like we all are. We all heal in good time and with good people in our lives. To make that healing process easier, we make it a point to take care of our clients and their loved ones. To give them a proper burial so you can look toward tomorrow while carrying their memory with them. For a Daytona Beach funeral home that cares, contact Dale Woodward Funeral Homes today.